The Power of Being a Question-Asker: Cultivating Connection Through Curiosity

At Smile, one of our core beliefs is that customer service is about creating meaningful connections. Connection is the third ingredient in the Smile Attitude and can be the difference between a transactional interaction and a memorable one. One of the most powerful tools for building this kind of connection is curiosity, and the simplest way to express curiosity is by asking questions.

Not just any questions, though. The questions that truly build connection are the ones that invite openness and engagement—questions that signal genuine interest in the other person and create a space for them to be seen and heard.

David Brooks, in a New York Times column from October 2023, captured this idea perfectly when he wrote:

“Some days it seems like we have intentionally built a society that gives people little guidance on how to perform the most important activities of life. I see the results in the social clumsiness I encounter too frequently. I’ll be leaving a party or some gathering, and I’ll realize: That whole time, nobody asked me a single question. I estimate that only 30 percent of the people in the world are good question askers. The rest are nice people, but they just don’t ask. I think it’s because they haven’t been taught to and so don’t display basic curiosity about others.”

This insight applies not only to social gatherings but also to customer interactions. Too often, service is focused solely on efficiency—on providing answers, solving problems, and moving on. But what if we flipped that mindset and focused on understanding first? What if we made space to ask more questions—and better ones?

In customer service, asking thoughtful questions is a game changer. It communicates empathy. It shows that we are engaged, interested, and committed to getting it right—not just fast.

When we ask good questions, we validate the customer’s experience. We signal that their voice matters and that we want to understand, not assume. This builds trust and encourages a more open and human interaction. Whether it’s asking, “What’s most important to you right now?” or “How has this issue impacted your day?”—the right question can completely change the tone of a conversation.

Ultimately, being a question-asker isn’t just about extracting information—it’s about showing care. It’s a practice in curiosity, and at Smile, we believe curiosity is essential to creating genuine connections.

So, here’s our challenge: Be intentional about asking questions. In every interaction—with customers, teammates, or strangers—practice curiosity. Ask the question that invites someone to share more, and then really listen. It’s one of the simplest, most powerful ways to connect.

Ready to bring more smiles to your workplace? Contact us at us@thesmilecompany.co.nz or visit us at www.thesmilecompany.co.nz